Milestones Past and Milestones Future

Yet again I have neglected the blogging side of things so thought I'd update you all on a few things.  Firstly, you may be pleased to know that I haven't fallen spectacularly off the wagon and put all my weight back on, I'm presently...

13st 3lbs

Just 4lbs to go until I'm in the 12s and I can't wait!  No way will I spend as long getting out of the 13s as I did getting out of the 14s either!  I recently attended a wedding over a stone lighter than last year which I'm also incredibly proud of...

Just before wedding, 13st 5lbs!

The fact I'm nearing another big milestone (which I'm praying will be next week) has got me thinking that I would like to set myself some targets for the coming months and 2012

Scales related

Out of the 13s - 30th September

Out of the 12s - 4th November

Out of the 11s - 23rd December.

Ambitious I know but aim high eh?

Fitness related events for 2012

Great Winter Run 5K

Great Manchester Run 10K

Warrior Dash 5K Obstacle course

Great North Run Half Marathon (if I can get a place on it, fingers crossed)

Again very ambitious but if you don't set yourself goals, you'll never push yourself right?

Further than I thought...

Well yet again I have neglected my blog recently and not exactly been, shall we say, "on it" so I'm giving myself a kick up the backside to make sure I don't spend as long in the 13s as I did in the 14s.  Currently I'm...

13st 11lbs

...which is a little bit behind where I wanted to be.  Mainly due to an abundance of takeaway, alcohol and laziness!  Really need to up my game here.  Been set a challenge to be 13st 7lbs by next weigh in and I'll get free drinks all night (vodka can be a great incentive).  That's 4lbs in a week and it's been a long time since I've done that so not really that hopeful to be honest.  I know that's a bit defeatist but I don't want to set myself up for a fall as it generally triggers off bad habits with me.


I know I'm not the only one struggling at the moment so if you are struggling, just think of a time when you felt amazing.  It may be that you got into that dress for the first time, or when you completed a run without stopping.  Whatever it may be, just cast your mind back to it and focus on feeling like that again.  It won't come without effort but it will be worth it in the end.  That's what I'm telling myself anyway!


As well as the 4lbs off this week aim, I'm also aiming to be out of the 13s by 11th September as I have a wedding and would love to look foxy for it!  A few aims there which are hopefully realistic.  My secret weapon of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred has been dug out so that should help speed things along!

The Day I Said Goodbye...

TO THE 14s!!!  Yes after at least 5 years of trying, I have finally smashed the wall that is getting under 14 stone.  I can't believe it!  I hardly slept I was so nervous (I know that's ridiculous) and when I stepped on the scales this beautiful sight greeted me...

What an amazing sight

I'm so pleased, I can't tell you.  It's been hard and I have had to have willpower of steel but it was worth it!  I still have a long way to go but if I can hold on to this feeling it will be so much easier.  Everyone has been wonderfully supportive and I couldn't have done it without some great people in my life. 


Now to get out of the 13's...

Dear Lauren.

Dear Lauren


How did you let yourself get this way?  Didn't you realise that sitting on your backside all day and eating junk would do this?  OK so you've not had the most miserable time doing it but are you happy?  Even slightly?  Is that why you come home after a hard day and make yourself feel better with mountains of food?  Does it change anything?  No, you and me both know the answer to that.


Think of all the times you've sat and cried in a changing room because you can't fit in the clothes that you want to wear.  Think of all the times you've gone on nights out and had to get wrecked so you could pretend to be the life and soul of the party when deep down you wanted to curl up under a rock so no-one could see you.


How did you feel when you first did the Great Manchester Run back in 2006?  I know you were chuffed you finished but I also know you were devastated at how much even the long walk killed you because you were too unfit even to do that.  Walking upstairs left you out of breath.  You told everyone you gave up the gym because you were skint.  Not true.  You had enough money to go and buy takeaways.  You gave up because you were lazy.  You couldn't face going in there with people judging you and you couldn't be bothered with that little bit of effort.


Think of all the times you drove to MacDonalds and bought 2 large Big Mac meals, one for the drive home (round the corner) and one to eat at home.  All the times you bought tons of crisps and chocolates just to pig out in front of the TV and then whinge that it was all just so hard.


What about all the people who tried to help you?  The people that cared about you and hated seeing you beat yourself up about the way you looked all the time.  You dismissed them and pushed them so far away, some of them didn't come back.


Well stop it.  No more.  If you carry on, you will make yourself even more ill than you are already.  Think of those clothes you've longed to wear, the life you've longed to lead.  You can have it.  It's yours.  You deserve it.  You're not so bad.  OK so you don't look the way you want to.  What about the you on the inside?  Doesn't that you deserve to shine on the outside?  Think of this.  Keep it with you.  To quote your own words...


"Look in the mirror and learn to love what you see now. Only then will you have the strength to start your journey to a healthier and happier you. You are beautiful now and never forget that."

Me, 2010


You can do this.


All my love, 
Lauren xxx

The Dress is ever closer!

Well folks, the sun is shining here and whilst those who know me well know I don't do sun (porcelain skin doesn't come for free!), I can't deny it makes me happy.  You know what else makes me happy?  The 30 Day Shred.  I'm now on Day 10 and not only am I amazed I've done it everyday, I'm amazed at what it's doing to my body.  My clothes feel looser and I actually smile when I look in the mirror for the first time in...well...ever!  Don't get me wrong I'm nowhere near where I want to be but being able to see my body change in front of my eyes is an amazing feeling that I don't ever want to stop!  Latest news from the scales...

14st 8lbs

OK so 2lbs off  I'm a little disappointed in but 6 inches off my waist and 7 inches off my hips?!  I'll take that!  The Dress is getting closer everyday!  Last time I tried it on it wouldn't go past my hips, now the zip goes halfway up!  I can't believe it!  This bad boy will be zipping up in no time I'm sure

Need to make friends with breakfast and SHRED!

Damn it, my run of good results has suffered a minor blip.  I've unfortunately gained 4lbs (ridiculously easy to do!) so slightly gutted however it's no-one's fault but mine.  Those who have been with me a long time will know that this is the point I usually give up, get back into the 15's again, and then have a whole "seriously I'm going to do it this time" relaunch of my neverending diet.  Not this time.  If it kills me I will be out of the 14s by the end of April as I cannot go on losing and putting on this same stone for the rest of my life.  Back up to:

14st 10lbs  

People say, "you'll do it when you're ready" or "you don't want it enough".  Neither is true.  I do want it and I am ready.  Sometimes I just want to eat junk more.  I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  Always have done and possibly always will do.  I binge, I purge.  Sometimes I go longer between binges and even longer between purges but the trigger is always there.  It's like a hot man that you can't get enough of.  You know it's wrong and you'll get hurt yet you still go back for more.  Stupid but true.


So that's the science bit of an eating disorder.  OK so it's not the science bit at all, but perhaps it helps people understand a little more that a bulimic trying to lose weight the "proper" way is really really hard.  You have to strike a balance between being aware of food and being consumed by it.  Alas that balance tipped the other way over the last fortnight and it wasn't pleasant but that's all done and dusted now and it's behind me.


Not eating until at least 1pm is not healthy.  I'm going to make a concerted effort to actually have breakfast from now on as I'm sure that doesn't help with the binge fest.


Right, enough moping now, onto the lovely delightful month that is April.  April is by far one of my favourite months as it consists of bonus from work, daffodils (they're like sunshine in a flower) and, the most important bit, MY BIRTHDAY (23rd April so you know when to send my pressie!).  This month's challenge for my lovely people is Shrinking Violet's Shred An Eggstra 8lbs Challenge (click on the link to go to the Facebook event if you want to join in).  The aim of this is to lose 8lbs in April and, if you're really up for a challenge, to do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD everyday.


For those not familiar with 30 Day Shred, it's a 20 minute workout combining strength, cardio and ab work and it works multiple muscles at the same time.  Jillian is one of my idols (she used to be fat too you know) as she doesn't go in for the fluffy feelings mumbo jumbo.  She just wants results.  I could learn a lot from her.  Anyway, I've done my first day and psyching myself up for the second. I now have 11lbs to lose this month to get out of the 14s by the end of the month so best get cracking (cracking, eggs, Easter - get it?)

Meet My New Love

Yes folks I have a new love.  A bond that cannot be broken, ever.  A love that praises me when I'm doing well, keeps me on the straight and narrow, as well as helping me share my progress with everyone.  What is this new love I hear you cry?  My Fitness Pal.  Absolute genius.


My Fitness Pal is an app to help you with your weight loss.  It's available for iPhone, Android and BlackBerry phones and it's absolutely free.  If you don't have one of those phones, fear not, you can still use it free at www.myfitnesspal.com .  It's not just a calorie counter, oh no, it's so much more than that.  You set your goals (weight loss, maintenance etc) and then are given a calorie allowance to aim for.  If you exercise, you can put that in there too and you can earn extra calories from exercising which is great when you fancy a bit of  a treat!

What does it look like?  Look!

It's one of the healthiest approaches to weight loss I've seen in a long time and you know how many diets I've done in my time!  It's really working too.  I've lost 9lbs in three weeks and that's without exercise (that's next on my list!).  If you want to add me on there my username is shrinkingviolet23


Current weight...

14st 6lbs

You know how much I want to be out of the 14s before my birthday (23rd April) and I think I may actually do it this time!  I've been trying for over 5 years and I'm quite confident I will cry when I see a 13 on the scales.


Here's an update on the progress of my goals which I forgot about...

Weight

• Get to 14st 7lbs
• Be under 14 stone

Fitness

• Be able to run for 5 minutes solid without stopping

Clothing

• Be able to fit into my size 16 jeans again.
• Be able to fit into my polka dot pencil skirt

Nice to cross some off the list.  Here's to crossing some more off soon!

Milk and potatoes? You know you want to...

Sorry folks, had a bit of writer's block recently (hence the lack of blogness) but inspiration arrived on my doorstep recently.  When I was little, I was fascinated by a book called Everything Within that my mum had.  It's a book from around the 1920's/1930's that is packed with tips on pretty much everything (hence the name).  I loved the stuff in there about fortune telling and superstitions and the beauty tips were fascinating.  Fast forward a good few years and this wonderful book, the exact same edition as the one my mum had, crops up on ebay for 99p!  I ordered it for a bit of nostalgia and I can't put the thing down!


One thing I never noticed before were the diet tips in there.  For those not lucky enough to own this delightful read, I've included some of the gems for you:


The woman who would have a clear fresh complexion and a slender figure must remember that diet is of the greatest importance.  Nothing whatsoever should be taken between meals, and those who would lose weight should make the chief meal of the day the midday one.


Seems pretty sensible to me.


Brown bread is better than white, both for the complexion and the figure, and wholemeal is best.  Butter is not fattening, and is essential for the nervous woman.  In fact, butter is a nerve food and should not be omitted from the daily menu even when a reducing diet is taken.


OK so the bread thing is still talked about today with GI Diets and what have you but butter being essential for the nervous woman?!  What the hell?!  I must remember some Lurpak for my next job interview.


The stout woman should take tomatoes and grapefruit.  A glass of hot water, to which the juice of a lemon has been added, taken first thing in the morning in place of early tea will help.  At least a pint of hot water should be slipped before going to bed.


This one is still in use today, although I'm not sure about the obsession with tomatoes and grapefruit.


Milk and Potato Diet
This diet was at one time considered excellent for reducing, and for those whom it suits it certainly is.  It consists of taking nothing but milk and potatoes on two days a week.  The allowance is 1lb of boiled potatoes and 1 quart of milk for the whole day.


The first 1/2 pint of milk is taken at the usual breakfast hour.  The second at eleven in the morning.  The third is taken at lunch with 1lb of potatoes, boiled and eaten without butter.  The last 1/2 pint is taken at six in the evening.  Nothing whatsoever may be taken on the milk and potato days except what has been mentioned.  On other days, the usual foods are permitted, omitting those regarded as flesh forming.


Milk and potatoes?!  Really?!  Who knew?


There is no doubt whatsoever, that the most fattening meal is the one taken in the evening, and it is becoming more and more the rule with women who are keen on reducing to have only a light meal of eggs, cheese and fruit at night.


Interesting.  Eggs cheese and fruit for tea?  At once?  What a culinary delight.


All spirits, sweet wines and cocktails, and beers and stout must be avoided by those eager to lose weight.  Lemon and water, or lemon squash may be taken but best of all drinks for them is plain water from the tap.


Damn, I'll have to give up my evening pint of stout (do women drink that?  They were lushes in those days from the sounds of things!)


The latest slimming diet from Hollywood consists of hard-boiled eggs and tomatoes.  For this 3 days are set apart on which the chief meal of the day consists of 2 hard boiled eggs and 2 tomatoes.  This is the midday meal.  The tomatoes and eggs are eaten without condiments of any kind, with a little rye bread and butter.  For breakfast on those days, tea and a slice of thin toast is all that is allowed, and for the evening meal only fruit such as grapefruit, apples or a couple of tomatoes.  No afternoon tea is allowed.  This diet has been found to be very successful, and has the advantage that on other days, anything that is fancied may be taken


This is amazing.  Comforting to know that first of all, Hollywood has always been full of wacky ideas and secondly, I can have anything I fancy on the other days!  Surely that is a comfort after living on egg and tomato for 3 days.  No?  Oh.


It's interesting to see that despite all the stuff in the media these days about, ironically, the media being responsible for making women obsessed with their appearance, it's completely untrue.  The stuff in this book is immensely crazy and it's nearly 100 years old!  I love it though.  It's endearing.


Coming up soon...old school guide to exercise.  You don't want to miss it!

"The Wobble"

Nope, not wobbly bits, the wobble everyone has now and again.  Am I good enough?  Can I do this?  It doesn't even have to be a wobble about weight loss, it can be about work, relationships - almost anything.  I'm quite confident that everyone has it, no matter how thin, successful or happy they may be.


The last 2 weeks have seen me suffer from "the wobble".  I've no idea why or anything like that but all I know is that I'm no longer losing weight and I'm sabotaging all the progress I made by eating crap and not bothering with going to the gym anymore.  I think it's a panic reaction but at least now I know the signs I can make sure it doesn't happen again.  February has been a rubbish month for weight loss it really has.  I'm actually back in the 15s again when I was hoping to be out of the 14s (the other side though!) this month.  I have one week left so as long as I don't finish in the 15s I'll be happy with that.  Not ecstatic don't get me wrong, but happy.  Current weight, sigh, is:

15st 1lbs

  

 It's always good to treat yourself now and again and my new rule is that treats will not be food related.  To cheer myself up, I decided to get a new haircut and some new clothes and I must say, the effects of that far outweigh the happiness of tucking into a Big Mac.  I've had loads of comments at work about how different I love and it's really boosted my confidence.  Non-food treats are definitely the way forward.  

I've seen so many nice clothes that I would have usually dismissed outright because of my size but now I know I can do it, I'm actually using them as an incentive.  I have loads of clothes in my wardrobe, most still with tags on, that I bought with every intention of losing weight to fit in them but never did.  If I get another stone off, I have pretty much a whole new wardrobe of clothes to wear!

Went to a My Chemical Romance gig on Friday and was intrigued by the clothes everyone was wearing.  It's made me realise that I've never actually had a time in my life where I've worn what I really wanted to wear.  Well no more, I WILL wear the clothes I want to wear before I leave my twenties behind for good.  On a brighter note, the gig was ace.  Check out me and the lovely Julie in the VIP box, because that's how we roll!

That's it for now from me folks, sorry it's been a while since I've blogged.  I guess you have to be in the right frame of mind.  Remember we all have the wobble, it's how you get over it that counts.

Progress?

Well what a few weeks.  Those who know me really well will know that I'm sort of suffering after the breakdown of my relationship with my fiancé and he moves out at the end of next week so I must say that looking after myself emotionally has been more of priority than the physical side of things.  I overdid it at the gym and stuff so I've not really been able to do as much as I'd like either.  I also chickened out of weighing in on Monday!


I have weighed in since my last blog though and my current weight is...

14st 13lbs

That was 7lbs on one week.  Really chuffed with that!  Great to see so many other people who have signed up to the January challenge on Facebook doing so well too.  Looks like I'll have to get my thinking cap on for a February challenge too so that we keep this up.

Here's how I'm doing with my "goals".  Great to see one of them ticked off the list already!  I think getting back down to 14st 7lbs is one of my massive ones though.  I really need to get back there as getting out of the 14s won't seem so far away as at the moment it seems miles away.

Weight

• Get to 14st 7lbs

Fitness

• Be able to run for 5 minutes solid without stopping

Clothing

• Be able to fit into my size 16 jeans again.
• Be able to fit into my polka dot pencil skirt

Fresh Starts and Fresh Goals. General Freshness!

I can't believe I didn't post my starting weight for this year!  Last weeks weigh in saw me still being in the wrong side of the 14s but I'm determined that won't be for long.  Start weight is a whopping...

15 st 6lbs

Oh dear!  I don't weigh in until tomorrow morning but I'm quietly confident as I've been working out loads and been really good food wise.  My clothes feel looser so hopefully the scales will give me the number I want.  Aiming for 8lbs off this month.  If you're on Facebook then feel free to join Shrinking Violet's January 8lbs Challenge here to get some support and motivation as there are a few of us doing this.  Being the competitive wee soul I am, I obviously intend to lose far more than 8lbs but if I only lose that then it's better than nothing.


Of course a new year brings with it new goals.  You may remember my goals were divided into three: weight, fitness and clothing.  I intend to follow the same trend this year and actually revisit them this time.  Here are my short term ones for the time being - my long terms ones are still up for debate!


Weight

• Get to 14st 7lbs

Fitness

• Be able to run for 5 minutes solid without stopping

Clothing

• Be able to fit into my size 16 jeans again.

Yes folks, Team Lauren is back and this year I can't be stopped!