Milestones Past and Milestones Future

Yet again I have neglected the blogging side of things so thought I'd update you all on a few things.  Firstly, you may be pleased to know that I haven't fallen spectacularly off the wagon and put all my weight back on, I'm presently...

13st 3lbs

Just 4lbs to go until I'm in the 12s and I can't wait!  No way will I spend as long getting out of the 13s as I did getting out of the 14s either!  I recently attended a wedding over a stone lighter than last year which I'm also incredibly proud of...

Just before wedding, 13st 5lbs!

The fact I'm nearing another big milestone (which I'm praying will be next week) has got me thinking that I would like to set myself some targets for the coming months and 2012

Scales related

Out of the 13s - 30th September

Out of the 12s - 4th November

Out of the 11s - 23rd December.

Ambitious I know but aim high eh?

Fitness related events for 2012

Great Winter Run 5K

Great Manchester Run 10K

Warrior Dash 5K Obstacle course

Great North Run Half Marathon (if I can get a place on it, fingers crossed)

Again very ambitious but if you don't set yourself goals, you'll never push yourself right?

Further than I thought...

Well yet again I have neglected my blog recently and not exactly been, shall we say, "on it" so I'm giving myself a kick up the backside to make sure I don't spend as long in the 13s as I did in the 14s.  Currently I'm...

13st 11lbs

...which is a little bit behind where I wanted to be.  Mainly due to an abundance of takeaway, alcohol and laziness!  Really need to up my game here.  Been set a challenge to be 13st 7lbs by next weigh in and I'll get free drinks all night (vodka can be a great incentive).  That's 4lbs in a week and it's been a long time since I've done that so not really that hopeful to be honest.  I know that's a bit defeatist but I don't want to set myself up for a fall as it generally triggers off bad habits with me.


I know I'm not the only one struggling at the moment so if you are struggling, just think of a time when you felt amazing.  It may be that you got into that dress for the first time, or when you completed a run without stopping.  Whatever it may be, just cast your mind back to it and focus on feeling like that again.  It won't come without effort but it will be worth it in the end.  That's what I'm telling myself anyway!


As well as the 4lbs off this week aim, I'm also aiming to be out of the 13s by 11th September as I have a wedding and would love to look foxy for it!  A few aims there which are hopefully realistic.  My secret weapon of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred has been dug out so that should help speed things along!

The Day I Said Goodbye...

TO THE 14s!!!  Yes after at least 5 years of trying, I have finally smashed the wall that is getting under 14 stone.  I can't believe it!  I hardly slept I was so nervous (I know that's ridiculous) and when I stepped on the scales this beautiful sight greeted me...

What an amazing sight

I'm so pleased, I can't tell you.  It's been hard and I have had to have willpower of steel but it was worth it!  I still have a long way to go but if I can hold on to this feeling it will be so much easier.  Everyone has been wonderfully supportive and I couldn't have done it without some great people in my life. 


Now to get out of the 13's...

Dear Lauren.

Dear Lauren


How did you let yourself get this way?  Didn't you realise that sitting on your backside all day and eating junk would do this?  OK so you've not had the most miserable time doing it but are you happy?  Even slightly?  Is that why you come home after a hard day and make yourself feel better with mountains of food?  Does it change anything?  No, you and me both know the answer to that.


Think of all the times you've sat and cried in a changing room because you can't fit in the clothes that you want to wear.  Think of all the times you've gone on nights out and had to get wrecked so you could pretend to be the life and soul of the party when deep down you wanted to curl up under a rock so no-one could see you.


How did you feel when you first did the Great Manchester Run back in 2006?  I know you were chuffed you finished but I also know you were devastated at how much even the long walk killed you because you were too unfit even to do that.  Walking upstairs left you out of breath.  You told everyone you gave up the gym because you were skint.  Not true.  You had enough money to go and buy takeaways.  You gave up because you were lazy.  You couldn't face going in there with people judging you and you couldn't be bothered with that little bit of effort.


Think of all the times you drove to MacDonalds and bought 2 large Big Mac meals, one for the drive home (round the corner) and one to eat at home.  All the times you bought tons of crisps and chocolates just to pig out in front of the TV and then whinge that it was all just so hard.


What about all the people who tried to help you?  The people that cared about you and hated seeing you beat yourself up about the way you looked all the time.  You dismissed them and pushed them so far away, some of them didn't come back.


Well stop it.  No more.  If you carry on, you will make yourself even more ill than you are already.  Think of those clothes you've longed to wear, the life you've longed to lead.  You can have it.  It's yours.  You deserve it.  You're not so bad.  OK so you don't look the way you want to.  What about the you on the inside?  Doesn't that you deserve to shine on the outside?  Think of this.  Keep it with you.  To quote your own words...


"Look in the mirror and learn to love what you see now. Only then will you have the strength to start your journey to a healthier and happier you. You are beautiful now and never forget that."

Me, 2010


You can do this.


All my love, 
Lauren xxx

The Dress is ever closer!

Well folks, the sun is shining here and whilst those who know me well know I don't do sun (porcelain skin doesn't come for free!), I can't deny it makes me happy.  You know what else makes me happy?  The 30 Day Shred.  I'm now on Day 10 and not only am I amazed I've done it everyday, I'm amazed at what it's doing to my body.  My clothes feel looser and I actually smile when I look in the mirror for the first time in...well...ever!  Don't get me wrong I'm nowhere near where I want to be but being able to see my body change in front of my eyes is an amazing feeling that I don't ever want to stop!  Latest news from the scales...

14st 8lbs

OK so 2lbs off  I'm a little disappointed in but 6 inches off my waist and 7 inches off my hips?!  I'll take that!  The Dress is getting closer everyday!  Last time I tried it on it wouldn't go past my hips, now the zip goes halfway up!  I can't believe it!  This bad boy will be zipping up in no time I'm sure

Need to make friends with breakfast and SHRED!

Damn it, my run of good results has suffered a minor blip.  I've unfortunately gained 4lbs (ridiculously easy to do!) so slightly gutted however it's no-one's fault but mine.  Those who have been with me a long time will know that this is the point I usually give up, get back into the 15's again, and then have a whole "seriously I'm going to do it this time" relaunch of my neverending diet.  Not this time.  If it kills me I will be out of the 14s by the end of April as I cannot go on losing and putting on this same stone for the rest of my life.  Back up to:

14st 10lbs  

People say, "you'll do it when you're ready" or "you don't want it enough".  Neither is true.  I do want it and I am ready.  Sometimes I just want to eat junk more.  I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  Always have done and possibly always will do.  I binge, I purge.  Sometimes I go longer between binges and even longer between purges but the trigger is always there.  It's like a hot man that you can't get enough of.  You know it's wrong and you'll get hurt yet you still go back for more.  Stupid but true.


So that's the science bit of an eating disorder.  OK so it's not the science bit at all, but perhaps it helps people understand a little more that a bulimic trying to lose weight the "proper" way is really really hard.  You have to strike a balance between being aware of food and being consumed by it.  Alas that balance tipped the other way over the last fortnight and it wasn't pleasant but that's all done and dusted now and it's behind me.


Not eating until at least 1pm is not healthy.  I'm going to make a concerted effort to actually have breakfast from now on as I'm sure that doesn't help with the binge fest.


Right, enough moping now, onto the lovely delightful month that is April.  April is by far one of my favourite months as it consists of bonus from work, daffodils (they're like sunshine in a flower) and, the most important bit, MY BIRTHDAY (23rd April so you know when to send my pressie!).  This month's challenge for my lovely people is Shrinking Violet's Shred An Eggstra 8lbs Challenge (click on the link to go to the Facebook event if you want to join in).  The aim of this is to lose 8lbs in April and, if you're really up for a challenge, to do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD everyday.


For those not familiar with 30 Day Shred, it's a 20 minute workout combining strength, cardio and ab work and it works multiple muscles at the same time.  Jillian is one of my idols (she used to be fat too you know) as she doesn't go in for the fluffy feelings mumbo jumbo.  She just wants results.  I could learn a lot from her.  Anyway, I've done my first day and psyching myself up for the second. I now have 11lbs to lose this month to get out of the 14s by the end of the month so best get cracking (cracking, eggs, Easter - get it?)

Meet My New Love

Yes folks I have a new love.  A bond that cannot be broken, ever.  A love that praises me when I'm doing well, keeps me on the straight and narrow, as well as helping me share my progress with everyone.  What is this new love I hear you cry?  My Fitness Pal.  Absolute genius.


My Fitness Pal is an app to help you with your weight loss.  It's available for iPhone, Android and BlackBerry phones and it's absolutely free.  If you don't have one of those phones, fear not, you can still use it free at www.myfitnesspal.com .  It's not just a calorie counter, oh no, it's so much more than that.  You set your goals (weight loss, maintenance etc) and then are given a calorie allowance to aim for.  If you exercise, you can put that in there too and you can earn extra calories from exercising which is great when you fancy a bit of  a treat!

What does it look like?  Look!

It's one of the healthiest approaches to weight loss I've seen in a long time and you know how many diets I've done in my time!  It's really working too.  I've lost 9lbs in three weeks and that's without exercise (that's next on my list!).  If you want to add me on there my username is shrinkingviolet23


Current weight...

14st 6lbs

You know how much I want to be out of the 14s before my birthday (23rd April) and I think I may actually do it this time!  I've been trying for over 5 years and I'm quite confident I will cry when I see a 13 on the scales.


Here's an update on the progress of my goals which I forgot about...

Weight

• Get to 14st 7lbs
• Be under 14 stone

Fitness

• Be able to run for 5 minutes solid without stopping

Clothing

• Be able to fit into my size 16 jeans again.
• Be able to fit into my polka dot pencil skirt

Nice to cross some off the list.  Here's to crossing some more off soon!